Saying no

It’s hard to take no for an answer.

I realised today that not only does my kids battle with the concept, but I do too. And sometimes Abba Father says no and our world suddenly becomes very small, very self-centred. We want it our way, seeing it from our perspective and in that moment we forget that He is Yahweh Yireh (Gen 22:14) …the God that foresees & provides. Because He is my loving Father, He needs to teach me to trust Him and therefore He needs to say no sometimes. He says no so I don’t become a spoilt brat.

And that is what I have to teach my kids and why I had to take my son’s face in my hands earlier tonight, look deep into his beautiful big blue eyes and just say…”no“.  This is difficult for any child, how much more for a child with pervasive developmental disorder. The tears immediately rolled down his cheeks while trying to change gears inside his head. After taking a deep breath, he asked “why”? And all I could answer was “because I said no“.

My son needs to learn how to trust, but there’s something more. I also want him to know that although he is the apple of my eye, the world doesn’t revolve around him. I have to teach him this, how else will he ever notice others in need or the hurt in someone else’s eyes or understand how to treasure hearts in relationships throughout his life?

He shrugged his shoulders and walked away without questioning me any further. I kept my eyes on him as he walked out the door. Wow, he actually accepted my reply…no further tantrums or sulking. By saying it to him while looking deep into his eyes with all the love in the world, it made the world’s difference. I connected with his heart and the “no” was taken with the trust that I wanted to instil.

Yes, I’m  quick to question and I’m always very quick to say it’s a good thing, but sometimes we just have to accept the small little word, no. And for any child, no matter the age, it doesn’t come easy. This two lettered word can burn like fire. But I now see it as the Refiner’s fire teaching me to be an over-comer and definitely not to be or become a spoilt brat.


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